Yesterday I spent the day talking about  Biblical counseling to a great group of people at the Biblical Counseling
Training Conference at Faith Church in Lafayette, Indiana. The first hour was “The  Husband’s Role” in marriage. It was a really good topic considering that today  is Valentine’s Day. I had the privilege of reminding the men that it would be a really good idea if they at least went to Meijer’s and picked up a card or something for their sweeties! It is
hard to think of anything more important to the success of any family than a  husband who works daily at being the kind of husband described in the Bible. 

There are lots of things said in the Bible  that we husbands ought to be doing, but there were three that we talked about at  length. Husbands must be students of their wives. Peter told us (1Peter 3:7)  that we are supposed to live with our wives in an understanding way. In order to  that we must apply ourselves to studying our wives and then responding to their  needs in a way that enables them to grow more in their walk with Christ. 
 
Husbands are tasked with leading the home  and that leadership is expressed in service. In the same sense that Christ is  the head of the church and died for it, husbands have the task leading the home.  That means that we get to make decisions for the benefit of our wives &  children at our expense! Leadership is service as “Christ came to serve and give  his life as ransom for many.” 

The last aspect we discussed was the most  important. Husbands are commanded to “love their wives as Christ loved the  church and gave himself up for her.”(Ephesians 5:25) Husbands are supposed to  love their wives first, most, sacrificially, without bitterness, unmistakably,  and always! As I told the men, our example for loving our wives is Christ. If  you want to know how to be a good husband, then follow how Jesus provided for  the disciples and his followers in the gospels. Jesus loved the church which  Paul says is his bride. And, so should we. 
 
The last thing I told the men was that if  they wanted to really grow in being a biblical husband, they should journal
daily how they occupy those three roles. Journaling allows us to keep track of  how we are growing in our talk of being God’s best husband for our wives. 




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